Carl the Janitor

Forget Jake Ryan, the real player in Sixteen Candles was certainly Long Duk Dong. Let’s look at the facts here. This guy immediately makes a play on Samantha with his now famous, “What’s happening, hot stuff.” line.

Next, he flirts with Samantha’s mom when he compliments her cooking abilities, “Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.”

Once he is at the dance, it like takes him two seconds to score a date and even enjoys some dancing/motorboating action with Marlene. He is able to charm her with such lines as “I bet all the boys chase you plenty in the school, huh?” and “Hmm. I betcha you big teaser, huh?”

Unfortunately for the Donger, he has a little too much to drink and get punched for grabbing Jake Ryan’s nuts. Oh well, is a hard knock life when your name is Long Duk Dong and you’re Asian

An no, he’s not retarded.

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Filed under: 80's, Eighties, Long Duk Dong, Sixteen Candles